A Broken Psalm

It is in the crushing that we are ultimately made whole. In the choosing hiddenness over glory that we are made new again.

It is written that You make a path through the sea. Today the sea is loneliness, a searing feeling of being left behind or forgotten. Today the sea is my very tangible, very present reality.

Why is it O God that death must happen before life? Even in conception, cells are broken and divided before they replicate, form bone, tendons, muscle, breath.

Why is it O God that we must break in order to be made whole?

Broken.

Heartbroken

Time broken

Purpose broken

Broken.

And yet, it is in the breaking that we are set free. It is in the crushing that we are given capacity to behold You, hear from You, love You for who You are, not who we want You to be.

It is in the breaking that we are both fully distinguished from You, and yet simultaneously grafted into You.

So my spirit declares, Amen, to this breaking. I yield my spirit, my will, my heart, my misunderstanding, my confusion, my anger to the breaking, the crushing.

In every granule of my crushing, I am made one with You.

In the crushing, I become one with reverent unknowing, with mystery, with submission.

Yes, Submission.

So Amen I say again.

Amen.